There comes a point when many of us look around our homes and realize we have a lot of stuff. Some of it is easy to let go of. And then there are the things that stop us in our tracks, Grandma’s china, Mom’s serving dish, an old piece of furniture, or something that may not be worth much money but somehow carries an entire lifetime with it.

Then we offer it to our kids and hear, “No thanks.”

And if we’re being truthful, that can sting a little.

Why They May Not Want It

I used to think the problem was simply that younger generations didn’t want the clutter. And sometimes that absolutely is part of it. Their homes may be smaller, their decorating style may be different, and they may not want a cabinet full of dishes they’ll use twice a year.

But I’ve started realizing there’s another piece to this.

We have an emotional attachment to these things because we know their stories. Our children often don’t.

We remember whose table that china sat on. We remember Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas morning, Grandma’s house, or the person who saved up to buy that piece of furniture. To our kids, it may simply look like an old dish or an outdated cabinet.

Maybe before we get disappointed that they don’t want our things, we need to ask ourselves: Did we ever tell them why those things mattered?

I Understand the Other Side Too

I’ve had this same conversation with my own mom. There are things of hers that bring back memories for me, things I recognize and understand the meaning behind, but I simply don’t have a place for them in my home.

And that helped me understand this from the other side.

Saying, “I don’t have room for that” isn’t the same as saying, “That doesn’t matter to me.” I can love the memory, appreciate the history, and still know that the actual piece doesn’t fit into my life or my home.

That’s an important distinction, especially as we start talking with our parents about downsizing and eventually have these same conversations with our own children.

Pass Down the Story, Not Just the Stuff

I’ve started doing something differently with my own children. When there’s a special piece in my house or something that belonged to Grandma, I tell them the story.

Who owned it? Why was it special? Where did it come from? What do I remember about it?

Not because I want to guilt them into taking it someday. That defeats the whole purpose. I want them to understand the history so that if they do choose to keep it, they’re keeping more than an object. They’re keeping a piece of their family story.

And they still may not want it. That’s okay too.

Because maybe our responsibility isn’t to make the next generation keep all of our things. Maybe our responsibility is to make sure the stories don’t disappear when the things do.

Before You Let It Go

The next time you’re sorting through something that has been in the family for years, take a few minutes before deciding what happens to it.

Tell the story. Write it down. Take a picture. Ask your parents what they remember about it while you still have the opportunity to ask.

Maybe someone in the family will want the piece once they understand its history. Maybe they still won’t. Either answer is okay.

The goal isn’t to preserve every dish, chair, photograph or box tucked away in a closet.

The goal is to make sure we don’t accidentally throw away our family history while we’re trying to clear out the house.

That, to me, is part of creating a home with joy. We keep what belongs in the chapter we’re living now, while finding meaningful ways to honor the chapters that came before us.

Denise | Home Joy by Denise